Anxiety

Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety, I don’t know what it depends on really. I just get this twisty feeling in my tummy and I get a really hard time breathing. And I literally hate it, it often comes when I see something that reminds me of a hard time in my life. Especially when I see people that used to like me and hang out with me.

The latest weeks have been so hard on me, but also really nice? The anxiety is so much worse, but I’m feeling happy and really energetic?

Today hasn’t been that fun, it started the first class in school, and it just feels like nobody in that class like me, well the ones from my class of course, but the other ones? Not so much. And it just kills my whole day, because when the day starts off bad, you can’t expect anything nice to come later through the day.

I’m really torn, last year I was diagnosed with depression, and you guys that have followed me for a long time know that. But it was such a hard time, and it isn’t better now, but it isn’t worse either. I feel so silly to write this, but I don’t know what to do, nothing goes right in my life.

When I finally got to quit my last school and begin this school it wasn’t great at first, but it got better, it really did. But sometimes I just get these thoughts about how dumb, how weird and irritating I am? But maybe that’s ordinary teenage thoughts? Or scars from the people that turned my back? I have no idea, I just wish and hope that life will give me something good one day. I’m grateful for the things I have in life, so thankful. But it’s always the negative things that way more.

I’m so sorry for the long post, but I just had to get this off my chest. Anyways, now I’m going to try to have a nice evening, watch a movie and then talk on skype with my boyfriend, I miss him, we couldn’t meet this weekend because I have 3 tests next week that I have to prepare for, but I’m not that stressed actually!

Hope you guys have a fantastic weekend surrounded by the people you love ❤️

selfie of me

6 thoughts on “Anxiety

  1. Oh girl. I understand all the feelings you’re feeling, and I think they’re universal – at some point in our lives I think everyone goes through it. Whether you can see that or not. People have a tendency to wear disguises. People who are the most insecure are often the ones who are the nastiest people. The ones who say the meanest things, or try to put people in categories to make themselves feel more important or cooler. Whatever. In 10 years, their social status will really mean nothing. But who they are on the inside will continue to negatively affect their lives, meanwhile the people who struggled through their early years will understand empathy, the power of kindness, the importance of making others around them feel included, feel heard, feel like a part of the team, the community, the family. You will survive this, and you will become an amazing person for it who will positively impact so many lives. And you might already be doing that…you just might not be realizing it.

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