Today is wednesday, that means painting at Röda Stens konsthall. Always fun, I finished the schabloon I started with last week.
Next week I’m gonna spray paint it. This is my bestfriends picture. link to his blog here.
When I paint or create something I stop thinking about all the bad shit. And it’s so relieving.
I’m gonna talk to my boyfriend now, say goodnight.
Goodnight, sleep tight! ❤
Today I’m going to Gothenburg! I wasn’t in school today, I had pain in my little tummy this morning.
I get so stressed out by not being in school, and that only makes my depression worse. But going to school makes me sad. It’s like plus minus one. I feel like a failure, I have F in one subject, it stresses me out even more.
See you later guys ❤
I LITERALLY CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.
My day has been shit. Shit from the beginning to the end. I missed school today for my pshycologist and for my doctor. Gonna miss the whole day tomorrow or just a little bit, don’t know. But I’m so stressed.
I have to run some more tests tomorrow, the doctor I had today was really good. So that calms me alot actually. I’m so scared that I have cancer, and I can notice on the doctors that they also are scared.
I don’t know how to feel happy, I’m sad all the fricking time. My pshycologist has diagnosed me with depression. He did it the last time I was there.
And it feels like I’m just talking about how I sad I am, and I feel like a problem. Because everybody talks about me like a problem. And I ruin for everybody all the time. But this blog is my diary.
Anyways, tomorrow I’m gonna try to watch a K-drama if I have time. One of my readers said I should watch it! And I defiently will!
The weather sucked today. Haha this day has been shit.
3:00 AM thoughts.
I can’t move from my bed, it feels like I’ve grown into it. Like a tree.
I want to stop breathing, I want to just shut my eyes till everything gets better.
This is so hard, how am I ever gonna make it through?
I want to distract my thoughts all the time, but it’s getting harder and harder. I just can’t do it anymore.
I just want some company this rainy and lonely night. But if you were here, would I still cry?
My sheets are clean, but my teardrops makes it wet, and my eyes are soggy.
It feels like everything is about me, but in one way it is. Because it’s my life… Of course I am in the middle, I’m in the middle of all the shit that is happening right now.
This weekend was good, I spent it with my family. And I had myself some good laughs. But I’m still sad.