The store

Me and my boyfriend woke up 15 o’clock today… and probably tomorrow too, fuck. I hate to wake up late and feel like I’ve thrown my whole day away. We ate pizza today, my mother and little brother was at my grandparents and helped them recieve 200 wine barrells from France. It sounds really really crazy, but it wasn’t that crazy.

We we’re there like 3 minutes then we left and drove to my boyfriend. We haven’t done much since we got here, well, watched How I Met Your Mother. And I spent half an hour crying on my boyfriend to. Poor him.

Actual photo of me trying to reach something on the highest shelf. Have anybody tried the “bun spray” from the colorista collection?? My hair always gets so crispy when I have it in a bun. It looks terrible.

A sad day

I LITERALLY CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.

My day has been shit. Shit from the beginning to the end. I missed school today for my pshycologist and for my doctor. Gonna miss the whole day tomorrow or just a little bit, don’t know. But I’m so stressed.

I have to run some more tests tomorrow, the doctor I had today was really good. So that calms me alot actually. I’m so scared that I have cancer, and I can notice on the doctors that they also are scared.

I don’t know how to feel happy, I’m sad all the fricking time. My pshycologist has diagnosed me with depression. He did it the last time I was there.

And it feels like I’m just talking about how I sad I am, and I feel like a problem. Because everybody talks about me like a problem. And I ruin for everybody all the time. But this blog is my diary.

Anyways, tomorrow I’m gonna try to watch a K-drama if I have time. One of my readers said I should watch it! And I defiently will!

The weather sucked today. Haha this day has been shit.

GOODMORNING!

Today I need to be home from school, I’m gonna go to a pshycologist and then a doctor. I just want it all to be over now, I hate to be in pain all the time.

And I hate to feel so lonely in this world (I know that I’m not lonely). I’m tired of all my sick thoughts. I just want it all to be okey again. Me having good grades and not worry about not being accepted to any schools.

Cozy home day

I woke up with a stomach pain and a little sadness. I dream about really strange thing, like panic attack and being hospilitazed.

Anyways, I woke up at 12 O’clock. Then I’ve watched the last episode of Star. I’m so excited for the next season.

But what should I watch now? Say some good series in the comments!

Now I’ve just eaten breakfast, it hurts in my little tummy.

Isn’t this pajamas cute?? Little cookie monster 😂

I need to get my shit together

Today i’ve been sitting in my boyfriends shirt, all day. I’ve eaten a huge amount of chocolate and chips because I’ve been sad. And everytime I eat I get a stomach pain. And that’s because i was home from school today, I had stomach pain after breakfast.What have you done today?

I’ve found myself a new series, Star. I think it’s really good 👍

Do you like my new header?

Sadness

The worst feeling in the world is sadness, when everyone around you are so happy and you are drowning in feelings you didn’t know existed.
It feels like you are sailing alone in a stormy sea, and in the horizon, you can glance an island with happy people, you scream at the top of your lungs but they just don’t hear you. It’s so frustrating, sometimes you just want to jump in the water and let the waves take you. But you keep fighting.

I’m not so happy right now, all I want to do is sleep, because when I sleep everything is fine. Every day gets harder right now. But I keep fighting, someday I will wake up happy again. But it’s not now.