Today I need to be home from school, I’m gonna go to a pshycologist and then a doctor. I just want it all to be over now, I hate to be in pain all the time.

And I hate to feel so lonely in this world (I know that I’m not lonely). I’m tired of all my sick thoughts. I just want it all to be okey again. Me having good grades and not worry about not being accepted to any schools.

Röda sten konsthall

It was super fun at the painting course!! Today we did schabloons, and then we took a paper that reacteed to UV-light and sun light.

So you but the schabloon on and then parts that don’t hit the light gets white. And the parts that hit the lights get dark.

It was super fun!

On the way home I took a mcdonaldas , my dad drove me to Gothenburg and home today. So that was nice. I had such a pain after that milkshake. I have time at the doctor again on Monday.

But now I’m pepping myself for school tommorrow. ❤

Storytime: I stayed at the hospital for 3 weeks.

When I was 13 years old, 2 years ago now, I almost died, from internal bleeding. 

On easter 2016 I had a stomach pain, I’ve never had so much pain before. We went to the doctor, and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. I danced ballet at the time, and I had my lessons every Friday night. So Friday night the 1 April 2016, I started to get so sick, I wanted to throw up. So my mom and dad picked me up from my ballet class, when I got home everything was fine again.

I complained to my mom that night that it was some blood in the toilet after I was There. She said that we would check it up the next morning, because the clock was 1:00 AM. So I went to sleep, I woke up an hour later screaming for my mom and dad because I started puking. My dad helped me to the bathroom but I fainted 3 times. So they noticed that something was really wrong with me. It came blood from me once again. So they called the ambulance and I was sent to the hospital.

They searched every hole in my body, and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. But one doctor said “It could be a Meckels diverticulum”, but for them to see if it was a Meckels, they needed to do a special CT, I was at the hospital for a week. They sent me home for the weekend and they said if anything gets worse we need to come in.

After the weekend I went to school every day, because I hated to miss school, even if I was sick I went to school. But on Thursday the 14th April, I had a really bad pain in my stomach again when I took the bus to school. And it only got worse, so my brother came and picked me up. I had so much pain that I barely could walk from the car to our door, I couldn’t lay on our sofa…

My mom got home after maybe 20-30 minutes, but it felt like an eternity.  We went straight to the hospital, they thought that my appendix burst, they didn’t think that it would have something to do with my “mysterious sickness”, but little did they know.

I don’t remember the rest of the day because I slept so much and I was on so many medicines. Anyways, late at night, they said that they needed to operate, so they opened me up and they didn’t find what they thought what it was. They found a burst meckels diverticulum. That was why I was bleeding and why I had so much pain. I was done operated in the middle of the night.

For those who don’t know what a meckels diverticulum is, it’s like an appendix. But it’s more dangerous and only a few have it, only 40 thousand people in Sweden have a meckels diverticulum. And 20% gets trouble with it… so they said that I was very unique.

I hate this scar, I know that so many people get through worse. But it’s my stomach, it’s my body. I have trouble going in a bikini and showing my scar, the first summer I didn’t go swimming at all. I didn’t want to show my scar, I’ve only shown it to my closest friends and family.

But here it is, maybe you don’t think it’s that bad… but I think it is, and it itches a lot too.


The first good day in a long time.

I went to Gothenburg today because I wanted to hang out with my best friend. He moved to Gothenburg a couple of months ago, so we don’t meet as often that we used to. But it was super fun, I’ve really missed him.

I was in school today ofc, we had a test today, it’s like the midterm test in the US. We have a lot of those test this semester, anyway, we have a day off tomorrow from school. After that, I went to Gothenburg. 

Omg isn’t this stair beautiful? It’s in the store Kicks in Nordstan. I thought it was so pretty.

This is one of my favorite stores, hahaha they have so much fun stuff in there… and really cute bras and underwear. So if you ever visit Scandinavium, you need to visit Monki and buy some adorable and sexy lingerie 😉

After that we took Frozen Yoghurt, omg I must sound dumb now. But I wanted to write FroYo at first, but I didn’t know if it was this… but ofc it is… Froyo is a slang for Frozen Yoghurt. I must be stupid or something. Legit.

And the night must come to its end… It’s pretty sad actually, I like Gothenburg so much. I hope I get to move there soon.
Tomorrow I’m going to a really fun store called Ullared! I’m going to post a blog post about it, I’m going to say goodnight now. Sleep tight! ❤

Review: One by Sarah Crossan

One by Sarah Crossan is written 2016, the book has won Children’s Books Ireland Book of the Year Award and many more awards. 

Tippy and Grace are conjoined twins, they share everything together. One day their parents tell them that they’re gonna start in a private school because they can’t afford to homeschool anymore.  This is a story about finding the first best friends, mean glances… and the first love. Some things start to change, and they come to the hardest decisions in their life.

I think this book was really good, the book is written in a poem style. So the chapters are really short, but the author writes so beautifully. The story about the twins is so awful and horrific. Many times in the book I got tearful eyes. I don’t know if the woman who wrote this book know any conjoined twins, and I don’t know if it’s like this in real life. But this book opened up my eyes, I’ve never met any conjoined twins. Never, and this book opened up my eyes, that they exist.

It’s a really good book, especially if you like drama books and young adults books.