What have I been doing this five days?

It’s in the middle of the night right now, but it’s Swedens nationality day tomorrow so we have a day off from school. Anyways, it’s been like 5 days since I posted, and I’m sorry about that. But I’ve had so much going on the latest couple of days. This weekend I was with my boyfriend, and I wanted to be with him and not keep up with the blog. I was in school today btw.

I was at the hospital two days ago, and I got some new medications that I’m going to take for 2 months. It’s exhausting. But it will turn out good, I hope.

Last Friday we were on a checkup for our car, everything was perfect with it.

Once I got home I took a glass of ice tea, it was good. Hahahahah, the bunny that’s on the floor is our bunny’s toy. He likes to lick on it??

Here is me and my boyfriend, I love him so so much. Look how cute we are, I miss him, but we will meet again on Friday <3.

I spent the whole weekend with my boyfriend, so on Saturday his best friend and his best friends girlfriend went with us and took a little bath in the little sea nearby. I’ve only swum in the ocean before, so it was the first time ever my foot was dipped in the sea.

I have to study for a test on the second world war tomorrow, not so fun :/

And I have the biggest stomach pain from the medications I’m taking right now, hope the pain fades off soon ūüė¶

A sad day

I LITERALLY CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.

My day has been shit. Shit from the beginning to the end. I missed school today for my pshycologist and for my doctor. Gonna miss the whole day tomorrow or just a little bit, don’t know. But I’m so stressed.

I have to run some more tests tomorrow, the doctor I had today was really good. So that calms me alot actually. I’m so scared that I have cancer, and I can notice on the doctors that they also are scared.

I don’t know how to feel happy, I’m sad all the fricking time. My pshycologist has diagnosed me with depression. He did it the last time I was there.

And it feels like I’m just talking about how I sad I am, and I feel like a problem. Because everybody talks about me like a problem. And I ruin for everybody all the time. But this blog is my diary.

Anyways, tomorrow I’m gonna try to watch a K-drama if I have time. One of my readers said I should watch it! And I defiently will!

The weather sucked today. Haha this day has been shit.

Sad day.

I had so much pain today also, so I didn’t go to school. Typical me, typical life.

I’ve been sad all day, I miss my¬†boyfriend so much. I have pain all the time and I’ve washed my¬†shoes 3 times in the washing machine.

But I took a long walk, so it made me feel a little better, I talked with my best friend and he¬†was shopping shoes. So it was fun, I saw yesterday that the offspring is going to come to Liseberg this summer, guess who’s gonna be there? ūüėČ

Look at my sandwich¬†I made before, isn’t it inspo? I feel like a real instagrammer. Hahaha, it was so yummy.

I need to get my shit together

Today i’ve been sitting in my boyfriends shirt, all day. I’ve eaten a huge amount of chocolate and chips because I’ve been sad. And everytime I eat I get a stomach pain. And that’s because i was home from school today, I had stomach pain after breakfast.What have you done today?

I’ve found myself a new series, Star. I think it’s really good ūüĎć

Do you like my new header?

Did this weekend have to end?

My cousin has been here the whole weekend, and it has been super fun. We were¬†out and drove all Friday¬†night and same last night. We went to sleep 6:00 AM… and we had our alarm on for 9:00 AM. So I’ve lived on 3 hours of sleep all day and still wake 10:00 PM. Not bad *Giving myself applauses*

Today we went to a museum in Gothenburg, it’s called Aeroseum. It’s an old hangar with a lot of airplanes, helicopters and old cars. It’s pretty cool. But this weekend it was miniature things…¬†RC – models.¬†

Here is an old Volvo from the war I think, and the helicopter is an ordinary military in Sweden.

A cute little wasp on this airplane.

They also had miniature boats, this is Titanic. They even had a little titanic that sank all by its self.

This is Stena Olympic, an old Stena Line boat. It went from Sweden to Germany.

A miniature¬†airplane, isn’t it cute? I wish I had the time to build my own miniature things. It seems really fun, especially painting them.

And last but definitely not the smallest, it was Lego there too. And someone had built a star wars thing. With the Imperial Shuttle ship in the middle and all the stormtroopers standing and taking orders.

So it was a really fun weekend! Now were loading up for a week in school, we don’t have school on Friday. And I don’t¬†have school on Thursday because that’s when I’m going to have my CT/ X-ray. I hope everything in my stomach is okay…

Sleep Tight! ‚̧

Storytime: I stayed at the hospital for 3 weeks.

When I was 13 years old, 2 years ago now, I almost died, from internal bleeding. 

On easter 2016 I had a stomach pain, I’ve never had so much pain before. We went to the doctor, and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. I danced ballet at the time, and I had my lessons every Friday night. So Friday night the 1 April 2016, I started to get so sick, I wanted to throw up. So my mom and dad picked me up from my ballet class,¬†when I got home everything was fine again.

I complained to my mom that night that it was some blood in the toilet after I was There. She said that we would check it up the next morning, because the clock was 1:00 AM. So I went to sleep, I woke up an hour later screaming for my mom and dad because I started puking. My dad helped me to the bathroom but I fainted 3 times. So they noticed that something was really wrong with me. It came blood from me once again. So they called the ambulance and I was sent to the hospital.

They searched every hole in my body, and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. But one doctor said “It could be a Meckels diverticulum”, but for them to see if it was a Meckels, they needed to do a special CT, I was at the hospital for a week. They sent me home for the weekend and they said if anything gets worse we need to come in.

After the weekend I went to school every day, because I hated to miss school, even if I was sick I went to school. But on Thursday the 14th April, I had a really bad pain in my stomach again when I took the bus to school. And it only got worse, so my brother came and picked me up. I had so much pain that I barely could walk from the car to our door, I couldn’t lay on our sofa…

My mom got home after maybe 20-30 minutes, but it felt like an eternity.¬† We went straight to the hospital, they thought that my appendix burst, they didn’t think that it would have something to do with my “mysterious sickness”, but little did they know.

I don’t remember the rest of the day because I slept so much and I was on so many medicines. Anyways, late at night, they said that they needed to operate, so they opened me up and they didn’t find what they thought what it was. They found a burst meckels diverticulum. That was why I was bleeding and why I had so much pain. I was done operated in the middle of the night.

For those who don’t know what a meckels diverticulum is, it’s like an appendix. But it’s more dangerous and only a few have it, only 40 thousand people in Sweden have a meckels diverticulum. And 20% gets trouble with it… so they said that I was very unique.

I hate this scar, I know that so many people get through worse. But it’s my stomach, it’s my body. I have trouble going in a bikini and showing my scar, the first summer I didn’t go swimming at all. I didn’t want to show my scar, I’ve only shown it to my closest friends and family.

But here it is, maybe you don’t think it’s that bad… but I think it is, and it itches a lot too.

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Doctors. Hospitals. Can it be over soon?

I’m tired to my bones, I’m going to bed soon, after this blog post. But I wanted to tell you about my day.
You know that I’ve been visiting the hospital for a while now because I have stomach pain. Really bad one. I had a surgery 2 years ago (I can tell you more about it in another post,¬†if you want ofc. Comment! )¬† But they think it’s¬†consequences of that surgery.
Sooo, I have an appointment for a CT x-ray, I don’t know what happens if they see what they’re looking for, maybe another surgery?
Anyways, about the math test last Friday, I think it went well. And after that my boyfriend came, he was here the whole weekend.
Goodnight, sleep tight! ‚̧

Yeees I’m listening to XXXTENTACION.